Blogger Day 1 ( 8/30/02 )

Today’s soundtrack: I wish I could fly,fly to the moon....

Today at 3:02pm: Wiggling my way to the front of the pack on the Pan Island Expressway



Hi, my name is Ivan and I’m new to Blogger. I don’t know who to sit with in the cafeteria.


One: I’m 23 years old, but I look 16 and feel 35. I’m like a heavily processed food; it looks fresh but after you take a bite you’re like, “Damn! This thing’s gone bad.”


Two: I’m an unabashed Singaporean. This is the only country in the world where a dog can walk down the street and step in human shit. I enjoy going away, and I really enjoy returning.


Three: I have a black camry, lousy memory and bad skin. If I spend too long a period without alcohol, I find most of my personality goes away.


Four: People often think I’m half Eurasion, on account of my freakishly large nose that defies Asian DNA. There are teams of Singaporean scientists dedicated to around-the-clock study of my nose. They draw lots of diagrams and then rip them up in frustration. You’ve never seen so much yelling.


Five: I pay my dues by babysitting 3 brats who made me jump queue in my appointment with God. I’d tell you about my job, but the tale of it is so boring you could use it for anesthetic.


Six: Six is the loneliest number. Oh wait a sec, that’s one. My bad.


Seven: Did you ever have one of those dreams where you go to school without your pants on? --Well, I haven’t. You’re a total freak man.


Eight: I spent the christmas of '2000 by myself in a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Orchard. Bad planning, cheap chicken.


Nine: The other day I realized that, all things considered, I’m actually kind of a jerk. But of a slightly novel strain; I’m more of a refreshing jerk. I’d tell you more but hey, I hardly know you.


Ten: I have to go now.